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Welcome to my blog which is about my family and I and how we deal with what life throws at us, which includes my daughter and her disabilities related to her spina bifida and her death on December 26 2012.

Friday 8 August 2014

Intervention??

Yesterday a friend sent me a message that frustrated me and to be honest pissed me off because they came to their conclusions based on what they saw over 24 hours after barely seeing me for 5 years. Keep in mind that I am 6 months out from having given birth to Abbygail. Here is part of the message:

You are not going to like what I am about to say to you, you will probable be angry, you will probably say to yourself "Great, another person lecturing me" and you will probably try to tune me out. But you need to pay attention to these words. I am worried about you. I know you have struggled with your weight almost your whole life, I have as well so I know what its like. However, Tanya you have let it get way out of hand. You are no longer a little over weight or just a bigger girl anymore. You are obese. I'm sorry if it hurts to hear me say that but it's true. And this isn't bad just because you have diabetes, it's bad to be obese no matter if you have an underlying condition or not. You NEED to lose weight. 

In the last year I lost my daughter Janice at the age of 3 and went through a second pregnancy. I am down to my pre-pregnancy weight but am still over 200lbs. Keeping in mind that I am diabetic and insulin doesn't help your weight and I could also drink less pop as aspartame also doesn't help. But I am regularly seeing my doctor and diabetes clinic. At my last visit with the clinic we went over what I eat on an average day and about working on walking between 5000 - 10000 steps, which I would have told her had she asked.
You have a commitment to be here for your daughter, Abby. Do you want to end up leaving her without a mother because you couldn't be healthy? I don't want to see you die of a heart attack at 40 and neither does anyone else. Plus, you are diabetic, that reason alone is why you should be being healthy. Most people who are diagnosed with diabetes lose weight, not gain.

My response was:
Guess what I see my doctor and diabetes clinic regularly. I am currently working on walking 5000 steps a day. I have been eating a LOT of fruit the last 6 months and most of the fast food I eat is because popo takes me there. As for the chips the other day I had been wanting them for almost a month and I was on my period so excuse me. I have weighed myself recently and am at my pre-pregnancy weight. The fact that you and my "family" are talking about me behind my back hurts. I am sorry that I have put on some weight in the last year and a bit but it has been a HARD year and NONE of you know what it is like to go through what I have. I may message you again once I have cooled down

She proceeded to argue with me that I should do more and that she had talked to my family before talking to me. It is frustrating that she berated me without any consideration on what I have been through or asking what steps I maybe taking to lose weight. Proceeding to tell ME what MY problems are and what I should do. Where are her credentials? She is not a dietitian or medical professional.

She claimed that she was basing her judgement off of years of seeing my eating habits when she has barely seen me since she moved out of town 5 years ago.

I just wish she had taken a different approach with her concerns and it would not have hurt as much as it did.