I am happy to be expanding our family again, I just wish that Janice was here to share in it with us. Janice would have been so excited and happy. I just don't know how to keep her with me without her overshadowing her sibling. I wish that they could have the relationship that I know they would have had had Janice not passed so suddenly. I just feel so lost without my baby girl.
I worry that there could be complications with this baby too. I don't know if I could survive loosing another child, not that I think I will. There are just so many variables and I don't know.
Yesterday, I saw my doctor and he was happy with how things are going. I got to hear the baby's heart beat. I still find some days easier than others. This new life inside me gives me hope for the future while i still struggle with the devastating loss. I know Janice would be thrilled at the prospect of being a big sister and would have done a marvelous job at it too.
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