Today I was feeling down to start with but receiving the email about Janice's "chair" and having Crystal and Mari-anne come and get it only solidified my mood as it is another reminder something else to make Janice's passing more concrete as her things leave. I know there was no reason to keep the chair and that other kids need it to but it was Janice's. They brought a very nice and sweet card and I broke into tears trying to read it. I still don't know how to stop the tears. Janice was the good and beauty in my world; she was everything to us and Janice's things keep her memory alive. Saying good-bye to her chair was like saying good-bye to her all over again. It is funny how objects can do that.
I don't know how I will make it through this. Life keeps going, the world keeps spinning and yet time seams to have stopped for me. I know my lil angel is in the clouds but it doesn't seem like it has been as long as it has. We are over 110 days since she left for heaven, for her care-a-lot and I am still here, still wondering when she is coming home.
Janice will forever live in my heart and memories. I just wish she had been able to live the life she deserved. Parents aren't suppose to bury their children. Yes, it happens but it is so tragic and horrible that it is easier to believe that it doesn't. Fly free and happy Janice, someday Mommy and Da will join you again, wait for us.
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