I am finding myself filling with excitement of the new life growing inside me and yet as I continue the drawn out process of unpacking I continually finding things that I bought for Janice. Things that she will never get the use and in some cases see.
I don't understand how people get through this, how are people expected to go through and eventually give away the things that solidify their child was here. Janice left us 10 and a half months ago and apart from moving location her clothes are still in her dresser. The toys got placed in containers but are all still here. I dread going through them even with the impending birth of a new baby. I know I have to go through them before Janice's sibling arrives as some of the toys have small parts and are hazardous to infants but I find that it is the last piece the final thing to solidify that my baby girl isn't here any more. Yet her bubbles, her play-dough, her "bears", her crafts from school, her paints, still all exist and now are the only things that physically remain as reminders to the three years that my little girl was here.
I know Janice was more than possessions. She was my beautiful little angel; she was the light; Janice was so much more than anything of this world and she was taken from me... from us too soon.
When Janice passed I found comfort as well as tears in watching shows such as "Touched By An Angel" and "Twice In A Lifetime". Shows that are meant to remind us that God loves us and that we are never alone. I pray that my Angel Janice is happy and safe in Heaven with those that passed before her and that she knows how much she is loved and missed.
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