The Mask I Wear

I am finding it harder and harder to get up each morning and put on the mask that everything is good in the world. The world is not perfect! I lost my child 11 months ago and I still don't understand why. I post censored status' on Facebook and Twitter because I am sensitive to what others may or may not feel reading them. I attempt to go to family functions and smile and make like we are not missing someone but someone will always be missing, even if no one else seems to care or notice that we are one short. 

Another baby is on the way but that doesn't change my feelings or my grief. Another baby doesn't change the fact that I lost a child. I am not a robot and I have feelings. When I ask for support it is because I need it when I ask for it, not the next day or a week later. 

I wear a mask with a smile,
That says everything is OK.
I wear a mask with a laugh,
To hide my pain.
I wear a mask with no eyes,
To protect my soul.
I wear a mask with no tears,
To conceal my moist eyes.
I do all this to protect you,
So I don't hurt you,
So I don't make you feel uncomfortable,
I wear a mask. 
No one notices.
No one cares. 
The person you once knew is gone, 
Buried with Janice. 
I am a new person.
One jaded with grief and loss,
One that you will never know fully. 
I am the one behind the masks,
The one that protects the real me,
From the cruelty of the world,
From the ignorance of the people.
From the insensitivity of those in the sunlight.
I wear a mask to make YOU comfortable.