I know this is petty but I can't help myself. Why can everyone else have perfect, healthy babies when mine can't walk and has other things wrong with her? I know it has been almost three years but I still seem to get constant reminders of all the things that she will never be able to do. I end up grieving all over again for the things she will miss out on while I watch everyone else have children with no issues that can take dance and play any sport they want. I see people chasing after their little ones and I laugh but inside I miss that there isn't going to be much if any of that for me. Sure she has her board and eventually her chair but she can't go that fast with either of them. I will never be able to teach her how to skate or play baseball. I know there are alot of advances in things that people can do from chairs but that doesn't mean they can do everything a person with use of their legs can.
A lot of the people that had kids the same time as Janice was born are on seconds and I can't because I have too many other concerns with Janice and financial issues to be able to even consider giving her a sibling. People say I am strong and they don't know how I dealt with and continue to deal with Janice's medical chart as it were and there are days I don't even know.
She is my angel and just seeing her makes me smile but there is so much more I wish she could experience and do and it makes me sad. Janice has the best out look on life I could have wished for her but is that going to last her all of her life?? I wish I knew.
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