Remembering that horrible night

I got to spend 3 beautiful years with Janice. But I still struggle with that horrible night when we had to leave her at the hospital. She was born with many complications and many tell me we were lucky to have her for as long as we did, but all the times she was hospitalized and all the doctors appointments I always went with her. I think she may have spent 2 or 3 nights without me being on the hospital grounds.

Leaving her behind that night I kept wanting to run back to the room. Part of me worried that she would wake up and see that we weren't there with her. I still cry thinking of that night and I am going on a year and a half out. It was heart-breaking walking into the ER room and seeing my husband holding her still form I literally felt my heart break when I saw them and he reaffirmed what the nurse had said which was that my little girl was gone. I was told when they got there she was unresponsive and that the doctors tried for around 30 minutes to revive her without success.