ReStart

Sunday I decided I needed a restart. I have gotten back on doing my blood sugars 2-3 times a day and I started working out a minimum of 5 minutes a day. Today I took a walk with my mother and Janice around MacArthur Island and am not sure my legs are up to doing anything else work out wise tonight. I feel kinda bad about not doing anything besides the walk but the night is still young we will see ... maybe I will do my ipod daily ab work out.

I am packed for Vancouver. We leave on Tuesday for two nights and three days. It feels like I just got back and am going down again. At least I get a month off after this. No trip in April. However I am back down in May for urology to do some test that she is finally big enough for. That trip is happening the day before my bff's wedding so it isn't going to be that bad but it is a little exhausting going down almost every month for 6 months straight.

Janice is doing good though. She caught a little cough but it is gone after a week. She has missed about two weeks of daycare this month which I am not happy about but her health comes first. Spring is here and I find that I get down in the spring because of all the sports going on and Janice won't be able to do many of them and it can be depressing. I keep trying to come up with activities that she CAN do. She has the CAN DO spirit but there are still a lot of things that she just physically can't do. But Janice is doing everything that she can and is so positive I feel extremely lucky that she is my little angel.

Everything at once

I find myself feeling overwhelmed. Janice is finally home and out of the hospital. The last few days were to get her off the oxygen. But she skateboard and in the playroom.

Then this afternoon my grandma (Popo) got an upsetting call her younger brother was on life-support and that she should come down soon. He went into the hospital about a week ago from what I was told for pnemonia and because of an underlying disease he has had all his life it became too much for his body. I have spent several hours on the computer looking up prices and calling family and trying to arrange the trip for Popo.

She is very sad as Uncle Dicky was one of her closer siblings and she loved him very much. I feel at a loss for words on what else I can say or do to help her. I wish I could take them (my grandparents) down myself but I am tapped out between the trip to Vancouver BC Children's Hospital, and the stay in Royal Inland Hospital.

I am happy that Janice is feeling better besides a residual cough. But I also feel sad about the situation and pending death of my uncle. He was an inspiration. Despite a crippling disease he never let it keep him down. He always had a smile for me and when Janice was born he looked so proud. The wheel chair never held him back from anything he wanted to do.

You will be missed Uncle Dicky. We loved you and will live forever in our hearts.

Royal Inland stay

It was about 11pm Sundays night when Popo called down to me to take Janice up to the hospital. It made for an exhausting night complete with blood tests, iv's, and x -rays. Although I did find out something,  the reason they never say she has pnemonia is because Janice's hernia which is intestine covers the lower part or her lung.

They did mention that they could hear something in her lungs when we were admired. Dr. Van Dyke said this morning the lungs sound clear. Janice is still on a very minimal amount of oxygen tonight and her cough still sounds congested but I am optimistic that we will be heading home either tomorrow or the day after.

She is currently sleeping contently on my cot by her choice forcing me to use her hospital bed which in my opinion more comfortable but Janice seems to prefer the cot lollipop.
I hate these hospital stays but if they keep Janice healthy that is all that matters. I feel bad for missing 2 of my 3 shifts this week. But just as long as Janice feels and gets better, that is all that matters.

Vancouver trip and looking back

Well the trip to Vancouver went well. Mom went with me.She had not been down since Janice was born. First day we arrived around 3pm got into the hotel and went to go see mom's cousin Claire's son Noah, this entailed walking from Heather street to Commercial drive. Day Two we went by bus to Oakridge Center before heading to Janice's appointment at BC Children's hospital.

It was a typical appointment, they weighed and measured her, took her blood pressure, all the usual. Dr. Dan (Metzger) found the dispute one hormone being low, but in range and her length (arm span) matched her weight; which means she is growing just fine, just at a little slow but at her own rate.

While at the appointment it came up about how because of the additional water I must have been huge. It was during this discussion that my mom mentioned that I had been bigger than she had expected even with me being diabetic and she had added that I had even been bigger than a woman carrying triplets. This discussion makes me feel like I should have done something more. I got so big so fast and there were several times I thought something was off and let people talk me into comfort. My even more clumsiness, most likely due to the additional fluid. The fact that everyone kept thinking it was multiples. Was I a bad mom for missing it? Should I have done something differently?
Since then I have been feeling inadequate.

After the appointment we went back to the hotel to drop our shopping off before heading to China town, then to gas town and the Old Spaghetti Factory for supper with the cousins on Popo's side: Mike, Mitch, and Mark. Then back to the hotel for the night and heading home early the next morning. Slow and steady was the trip as the first leg was snowing but after passing the summit it was more rain and we were home by 4pm.

Back down for March 29th.
That is all for now.

Show of Hearts 2012

Well. the Variety Show of Hearts telethon was on this weekend. Although Janice wasn't on it there were alot of well deserving families and children on this year. There was a few teens that had been injured during sports that needed the help of Variety the Children's Charity. It is always amazing the things that Variety is able to do for those in need.

I have my own little "I Can" little girl. Janice shows me on a daily basis that she isn't going to let anything stop her. Whether it is going up and down stairs; booting around on her skateboard; climbing up and down the fireplace and couches; or just her optimistic smile she always makes me smile.

I was hoping this year they would get over 8 million but this year they got less then last years total. They only got about 6.753 million. Last year they got close to 7.7 if I recall correctly. Either way 6 million is still a lot of money and will help a lot of kids and families. They also told about the opening of Janeece place in Victoria. A home away from home for families getting treatment in Victoria.

CFJC TV News segment

Well, my father decided to do something for his grand-daughter and sent out a dvd and letter about her and her accomplishments with her skateboard. We got a reply from the local TV station and yesterday they came by to interview us. It was cute Janice fell asleep on me during the interview and so they weren't able to get much of her playing because we had to wake her up. But the segment aired on 4 of the news casts between yesterday and today and the segment is also on their website:  http://cfjctv.com/story.php?id=7098


I find myself tearing up each time I see it. It is their lead in to the Variety Club show of Hearts which starts tomorrow evening and goes the next 23 hours.


In about a week and a half I will be heading down to vancouver to see an endocrinologist about Janice's hormone levels. Hopefully it will go better then I feel the doctors expect.

Differences of view

Last night I found myself feeling depressed, ugly and wondering if I was wanted. Almost crying myself to sleep between the pain of my decomposing tooth and a bout of depression. This morning I still felt down and my tooth seemed to hurt more then yesterday, I have spent the whole day taking meds and laying down bundled up kind of moping. 


Although due to my low emotion and pain my feelings from last night have been pushed down by the caring TLC that I have received. Unexpectedly I have been served lunch in bed and well couch side service.


Tonight I have a Christmas party at Ora. I hope I am feeling up to going. It is also Chinese New Years so I am hoping for Chinese. And yes Christmas party as it is the busiest time of year the party was moved to January.  I know my blogging is random but I type what is on my mind.  Last night if I was not so lazy about getting out of bed you probably would be reading a more interesting although depressing blog. 


I enjoyed watch a new show last night called "Switched at Birth". I am currently enjoying some NCIS while Janice sleeps. I love my little girl is so precious and seeing her can turn my whole day around.  Yesterday I got up early to attend a future leaders meeting, the first of twelve. It was very interesting and although I do have some homework I am hoping to get my printer working so I can type up a good copy. 


I purchased the as seen on TV "Heal-tastic" which is actually working well for a single treatment I am hoping it holds up. I am considering getting a curling iron, I saw an interesting hair accessory tool that is an "as seen on tv" 


When I was finding the as seen on TV items I also found out that when Target takes over Zellers the employees are getting laid off. That makes me wonder what is going to happen to all those employees, it makes me feel like it is another convergys. So many people out of work.  I mean there are people that leave a job for good reasons or bad reasons but by their own choice. Then there is the people that are forced to leave a job for reasons they don't control. 


I think I have said enough for today. I am going to sign off for now.

Filling in the last two years

After Janice was born and a month long stay in BC Children's hospital we returned to our home in the interior. Our two bedroom apartment became a wonderful home for our small 4 member family; Kevin, Janice, Lia (our cat) and I. Although annual visits to Vancouver for Janice every three to four months made our budget a bit short. Eventually working fast-food and taking time off for medical appointments caused us to make a big decision, November 2010 we had to move in with my grandparents.

Another problem that arose was I seemed unable to set up any play dates for Janice which made me have to consider daycare even though we didn't need the additional care, no it was for social skills for Janice. She seems to love it now after almost 9 months. Her language skills are also growing with the interaction with the other children in her day care. So with the help of my grandparents and day care 2 days a week, I am able to work a flexible schedule and Janice is flourishing.

This November I got a Christmas job working as a cashier at a retail outlet that I enjoyed the environment and climate way better than the job I took due to lack of options after maternity leave. The job I was working at when I got pregnant closed down, and my EI got eaten up with maternity leave I had to take the first thing that came my way which was fast food. However after some issues with management and their reaction to some complications with my daughter I was extatic to move on to another job that was more understanding and had more reliable hours.

I was told a week and a half ago that they were keeping me on and I was extremely happy. So now it is just a matter of getting some savings and a properly designed home for Janice to grow up in; although I am sure my grandparents don't mind us bunking here I don't like having to rely on them.

In February we have another trip to vancouver to see an endocrinologist about Janice's hormone levels. She is on the small side for her age and after over a year of being hounded about her weight they tested her hormone levels only to find that some were on the low side and thus our up coming trip.

First blog post

Welcome to my blog. I am a 27 year old mother of a 28 month old with spina bifida. She was a surprise in a lot of ways. She has become my angel of light. Janice is a very happy go lucky girl with beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes. Everyone said that her eyes would change but it was her hair that changed from brown to blonde within the first 6 months, despite my being primarily asian and native.

She has been an inspiration and a heart thief from birth. Everyone that meets her falls in love with her. When she was born we were shocked to find out that she had spina bifida and within 8 hours of her birth was flown down to BC Children's hospital. I had to wait til the following morning to follow her down. Before I had even seen her I was approached by one of her doctors and was told how they needed consent to do surgery to close up the hole in her back otherwise she could die from infection, it was one of the scariest moments of my life.
We soon were told that apart from her obvious leg malformations she also had a single horseshoe kidney, small high pressure blatter, and she had a hernia on her right side.

She did not like any of the traditional mobility devices brought in by her physio. I found a child size skateboard about 6 months ago that we have since had modified for her. She loves racing around on it. We had to put a g-tube in October 2010 and developed a bed sore on her back from being on her back after the surgery. We finally just got the bed sore cleared up.