I had 4 nights of going to bed at a normal time and now I am again up till all hours unable to sleep. Even Grumpy is not helping tonight. I still cry going into her room. What does the future hold?
I can still see her when I see all the bears that she would have gotten at Christmas. It is almost like she is sitting amid the care bears smiling and giggling about her "bears". I miss her so much. It has been almost 2 months and I still expect Janice to come rolling out of her room. I still wish to stay in bed waiting for Janice to come rolling down the hall calling "mum" to wake me up so she can bounce on my pillow while watching bears.
People tell me it will get easier but it seems to be getting harder or worse yo-yoing. I feel so confused and lost... About more things then I care to blog about . I just want Janice back she didn't deserve to die.
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